I feel pretty strongly about the fact that if you spend time thinking about what you want the universe will make it happen. I didn’t always think this. There were many days in middle school and high school when my mom would spout that kind of mumbo jumbo and I would roll my eyes all the way to China. But then one day a few years back I made a list. I was dating a guy who I felt like was kind of a jerk and didn’t deserve me and I was unhappy. I knew what I wanted in a relationship and a partner so I wrote it all down. And very soon the universe just dropped it in my lap. So after a few moments of disbelief I quickly became a believer.
Now it’s true, sometimes I talk about what I do want through complaining about what I don’t want. And honestly, getting to where you want to be in life isn’t easy. A lot of people (myself included at times) are so uncomfortable with the uncomfortable that they don’t do the hard work of getting through the really hard stuff. A lot of big life changes don’t actually feel that good. We like routine, we like predictable (watch What the Bleep Do We Know and you will understand where I am coming from). At some point I made a deal with myself that I was going to be less resistant to the things that didn’t feel good in life so I could move past them and get to the good stuff. That doesn’t mean I don’t feel sad and I don’t cry and I don’t have moments where I feel completely miserable. But I try to accept that those are real feelings I need to go through, and to feel them to their fullest so that when the time is right I can move on from them. I have found the more I resist them the longer they hang out in my life (oh hey mom was right all along?).
Lately the universe has probably found me a bit exhausting. I think I know what I want and then it’s there and then I realize I want something just a little bit different. So then it comes along and it still isn’t quite right. I guess that is part of being 26. It’s a time where you’re always re-shaping and still discovering what you want. Or maybe I’m being naive and it continually evolves through life.
This past year has been a lot of thinking about what I want, and when I look around at all the different pieces that make up my life right now, I’m amazed. I’m amazed at the way that I will have a conversation with someone about what I want, or write a song about it, or just get lost in my mind thinking it through, and the next day there it is bright and shiny and new. It might be that a week later I realize it’s not quite right, but the universe continues to provide.
It’s not all perfect. It’s hard not knowing what you want when it comes to big things like a career or a relationship or creative pursuits. It’s a balancing act even when you do know what you want because things don’t usually line up and blend together perfectly.
The point of all this is to suggest that you not let yourself dwell on what you don’t want, or what you are afraid of. If you spend too much time thinking about how you will only date bad guys, the universe is going to think you want to date bad guys. If you spend too much time thinking you can never get out of your bad job, you’re going to stay in your bad job. and it’s not just about thinking “I want a really great job.” You have to get clear on what that means to you. and then you have to think about it and look forward to it and imagine what it will be like when you’re in that great job. and if after all of that you still don’t believe it’s really going to happen, it won’t. You have to get to a place where you’re not doubting it will happen.
I hate when people tell me I have a great life (hear me out). Everyone’s life looks better to other people, and it makes it seem like the pain and heartache never happened and it all just got handed to you on a plate. you can have a great life. It won’t all be easy, but you can have everything. and anything. so get positive and have fun imagining what you want.